Episode 4 : The Voices in my Mind
There is nothing more important to true growth than realising that you are not the voice of the mind – you are the one who hears it.
Michael A. Singer
I am a runner. Over the last 2 years, I ceased competing in events, owing to the pandemic. However, in June last year, I injured my sacroiliac joint and was unable to run at all. I hadn’t realised just how much this inability affected me until today, 9 months later when I took part in a running event where I completed a trail run of 9km.
The immediate impact of not having my runners legs, was the impact to my sense of overall well being. I wasn’t getting out to meet my friends for casual runs anymore. In not being a gym goer, I started to feel uncomfortable as my weight crept up and Winter set in. My physio advised me that I would have to consider alternatives to my fitness and build my core strength. Feeling like I had to take action, I joined my local fitness Centre in January and loved the companionship of total strangers who I talk to in fitness classes. It felt good to mingle with people again, and also to feel good about exercising that didn’t result in pain!
It wasn’t until today, when I ran a longer distance that I was reminded of how much I missed my running. Within 2 km’s in, the voices in my head were all there. Chatting away at me. There were a lot of them and I was allowing them to rob me of that exact moment where I was surrounded by woods, trees, gorgeous scenery and the experience of taking part. As I am very spiritually aware, I recognised that I was not only the person talking, but the person listening. I knew too to thank that part of me that had so much to say and acknowledge that “it” was just trying to keep me safe. Strangely enough, once I acknowledged my voices, they ceased to talk and instead I could savor the moment of my first competitive run in 2 years.
I would love to run more often, however, I appreciate that my body has limits and I have to take care of all of me. What I recognised today however, was how much I have missed the experience of the many voices in my head who have helped me order my day, plan my week, think through my experiences and have conversations with me. I haven’t had that outlet when exercising as the gym experience is vastly different to running solo.
Its through injury that I have learned to value my body from top to toe, and that each part of me deserves my full attention. It also enabled me today to understand that I hadn’t given my voices a voice, and to remember how important it is to check in with myself throughout the day, feeling my feelings, honour them and release and let go! That feels good.
True personal growth is about transcending the part of you that is not okay and needs protection.
Michael A.Singer
Authentic You 