Episode 3 : SURRENDER
Surrender
I am really struggling today if the truth be known. I am finding it difficult to stay focused on all the very positive, happy and delightful things I have in my life that are worth truly celebrating. Family, health, faith, friends, dogs, a career, a home and a great lifestyle. This is why I chose to write today, because I have an ability to express my thoughts in the written word, and if they are in anyway helpful to another, then that warms my heart. What I am missing today is romantic love, feeling excluded on Valentine’s day.
This beautiful piece of writing below, and I don’t know the author, really captures how I am feeling today. To surrender to my feelings of disappointment, upset and sadness as they will pass. To focus instead of what I do have, and who I am rather than what I don’t have and who I don’t have.
For those searching for love
The love of family, friends and romantic love
Are wonderful miracles in our lives
But we cannot make someone love us
And trying is heart breaking and a waste of time, energy and self-respect.
We may love someone who doesn’t love us back or love us the way we want
We must let that be and move on
We may wish to be loved by someone who can only love us on their terms & only when we appear to be who they wish we were
We must let that be and move on
We may think we need a specific person to love us a certain way, but who and how others love us is not up to us to decide.
We must let that be and move on
Moving on may be sad and difficult, but it will free us to put our energy into being, honouring and celebrating the person we truly are
And when we stop trying to be loved by specific people in specific ways, true love in all sorts of wonderful forms will surprise us again and again and only then will we remember that those were the miracles we were looking for all along.
ANON
Last night as I rolled over in bed, and reached out across the pillow to emptiness, I felt such sorrow. I felt genuinely lonely. Then I reflected on all those who are weeping at the moment, with loss of loved ones, and I felt bonded to them. In that moment, I felt my significant mother wound : which is that I am not enough to be chosen and/or I am too much to be chosen. In that moment I felt so alone. I reached out for a beautiful rose gold necklace that I bought myself at Christmas, and held it tight, as I closed my eyes. It did give me comfort. Today I might not be feeling the best I have felt, and every day is a day where I get the opportunity to chose how I am going to be that day, and that is okay. I can allow myself to feel shitty and surrender. When I do, I surround myself with acceptance of what is, and right in that moment, I feel better.
Authentic You 