Reflections

What do I have to say about 2015? It’s a really loaded question for me considering the really horrendous start it had in January. However, I have flourished in ways I didn’t know I could – I have learned that I am courageous above all else, loyal, honest and willing to expose my emotional self, if it helps others in any way.
My goal going into 2015 was to become more authentic, more real. I had no idea that just around the corner would see the death of a really lovely childhood friend followed by the sudden and tragic death of Nathan, who had been my “other half” for 4 years. I have blogged about my journey through this and the reality of the pain I felt. I began the journey of rebuilding me.
My higher power is our Christian God. I have felt loved and protected throughout this year and looking back, I have had faith that God will know what is best for me. Yes, I have taken control and made decisions that I think are right for me, yet somehow there has been a divine element to them. There have been many days that probably add up to months this year, where I existed in the day and gone about my affairs as best I could and within this, there has been protection. And love. For this I am so thankful, grateful and blessed beyond expression.
I have had unexpected household expenses that had the potential to crush my spirit. Solution? Get a lodger. I heard many tales of woe against this, yet again, I felt protected by God and it’s worked out well for me. I have had laughter and fun again in my home and a companion to share the magnificent view that my home offers.
This year I have shared my testimony at an AlAnon shared platform meetings, and joined a bible study group where I have met new friends. I have excelled at work and gained entry through ballot into the London marathon, giving me a new discipline for exercise. I’ve blogged, started knitting and love to colour in.
I’ve rekindled friendships and built new ones. I was blessed to go “home” to Durban in March this year and draw strength, comfort and joy from my beautiful family there welcomed by my most caring friend Elaine. Melissa and Sian gave me a tremendous welcome in Johannesburg and laughs there were a plenty.
Back at home, Karen, Mike and I conquered the ROAM 6.39 mile night walk and despite the ghoulies in the bush, made it around the night course in 2 hours. I enjoyed the Hogsback 12km run a few weeks back now giving me a new passion for running.
Through all of this year, I have learned that we have a choice in everything. We can let circumstances overcome us, or we can conquer them. This is not always easy and certainly I have been blessed with a happy disposition and an attitude that drives me to keep going. I have learned too the importance of being still and the power of meditation. This for me is critical alongside the merriment and fun that life offers.
I am so grateful to everyone who has played a part in my 2015. I have no expectations of 2016 other than the hope that the love and warmth been shown to me this year, will replicate again next.
Happy new year and God bless